He Took Off My Underwear! (girls only)

He Took Off My Underwear! (girls only)

…..Before I knew what was happening, we started kissing and fondling each other. Something in me kept telling me what I was doing was wrong, …  what happened next? find out …

He Took Off My Underwear!

“Rose, be a good girl and ensure you are closer to God, don’t join bad girls, face your studies and do your best to come out with a very good grade” those were the words my dad told me when I was leaving for the university in another city.

Life on campus was exciting, interesting and challenging at the same time. It wasn’t long before I joined a Christian group due to my upbringing. I wasn’t too committed in the fellowship as I struggled to strike a balance between my social, spiritual life and academics.

I was not used to going to night parties because of my parents’ strict upbringing, although I had always wanted to be like other girls who sneaked out of the house to attend night parties on the pretence that they were going to study/sleep at a friends’ place when I was in high school.

One day Alicia my roommate, a computer science student in her 2nd year invited me for a night party, at first I told her I could not go because I was afraid of what could happen there, that wasn’t the first time she was inviting me anyway and I had always turned her invitation down, but this time around I really did not have an excuse because it was just the first week of resumption of the second semester and no serious work had started. As I was still contemplating whether to go or not, her boyfriend Stanley came in with a friend named Steve.

Stanley greeted us and introduced Steve to me as his friend, Steve was a fourth year Psychology student, handsome, tall, with a very catchy voice and carriage, he looked like any girl’s fantasy or dream guy. He convinced me to accompany them to the party, assuring me that nothing will happen to me.

At the party I met other friends from my department, Steve and I were dancing and soon we got talking, he told me more about himself, his visions and goals in life, we talked at length and true to his word he didn’t do anything strange to me.

Soon after the party, Steve and I started dating, he started visiting me in my room, we would talk, hold hands or go to the eatery outside the campus together. At this point, I had stopped attending the Christian group meetings, I gave lots of excuse to those group members that came visiting, I was enjoying life and celebrating my freedom from my parents.

.(Check other stories and inspirational  articles on this blog: Who is Right for Me? THE MARRIAGE SHOE (Single & Searching Series)Single & Pregnant, Sex and Feelings, 4 things you MUST know before getting married  e.t.c go to the home page or scroll down to see some other articles) Remember to drop your comment.….continue reading

One Saturday, as I was coming back from shopping, I decided to branch to see Steve in his house, this was the first time I was visiting him alone after he proposed marriage to me some weeks back. He was so excited to see me in his room alone, I told him I just felt like seeing him and to give him something special I had bought for him.

We both sat on his bed as we talked; he started narrating all over again how he fell in love with me at first sight and so on… soon we ran out of discussion topics. He stopped and gazed at me with a very suggestive and seductive look, I managed to open a new topic for discussion, but he kept looking at me in the eyes, I felt a chemistry going on in my body, but I remembered how my mum had warned me against pre-marital sex … I decided to stand up, but he stood up too and held my hands and told me in a subtle voice “Rose I love you”. Those words echoed in my mind as if I had never heard someone speak such words to me in the past eighteen years of my life.

Before I knew what was happening, we started kissing and fondling each other. Something in me kept telling me what I was doing was wrong, but my emotions had overruled my right thinking; he gradually removed my dress while I was lying on the bed. I was still thinking well I will stop him from having sexual intercourse with me, but before I knew it, he took off my underwear, the rest is history….we had sex! I felt so ashamed of myself. A sense of guilt overwhelmed me, I just sat on the bed with my head buried between my hands! I had lost my virginity! I had lost my pride, I had lost my virtue, I felt really bad.

I made up my mind I would not allow it to happen again but the more I tried the more I fell into it, I couldn’t stop seeing Steve.

One day, as I was about entering Steve’s room, I heard people laughing out loud in his room; I overheard Steve telling one of them, “that babe is cheap”! He started narrating our sexual encounters and everybody started laughing. I turned back feeling so ashamed of myself.

The following day I saw Steve on campus in the company of another lady, my friend told me that was the new girl Steve was going out with. I confronted him and he didn’t deny it.

I got back to my room feeling the world was fast crashing on my head. I wept bitterly, I remembered how he took off my underwear the very first time I encountered him, I felt so naked and felt used. I remembered the warnings of my dad and mum, I remembered the warnings of my pastor … I felt really bad and wept sore. I asked God for mercy and forgiveness.

Months later, I felt so sick and was diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infection. I was lucky it wasn’t HIV, but I went through hell before I was eventually cured of it. I missed some exams and subsequently had to spend an extra semester in the university.

.(Check other stories and inspirational  articles on this blog: Who is Right for Me? THE MARRIAGE SHOE (Single & Searching Series)Single & Pregnant, Sex and Feelings, 4 things you MUST know before getting married  e.t.c go to the home page or scroll down to see some other articles) Remember to drop your comment.….continue reading

Friends, stories like this exist everywhere, you remember the very day you or that guy took off your underwear to have sex! Something in you tells you what you were about to do is wrong, but you refused to listen, telling yourself one day you will stop and till date you have not stopped the sex game.

Hear what the bible says in 1 Cor 6: 16-20 “flee fornication, every sin that a man doeth is without the body but he that commits fornication sins against his own body, what! Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which ye have of God and ye are not of your own. For you are bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God’s”

Anytime you engage in premarital sex, you get devalued because you lose virtues. You are not better off than a used item, like a half eaten apple. Why allow yourself to be used? Don’t allow any man taste or test you before he takes you to the altar of marriage, you are not a used car that needs to be test driven! The rule is “no sex before marriage and no sex outside marriage”

If a guy can’t wait for you, he doesn’t deserve you because true love waits. The fact that you are in a relationship or in courtship with a guy is not a license for him to sleep with you.

Your virginity is your pride, don’t lose it on the altar of sexual pleasure, or trying to use what you have to get what you don’t have, don’t allow your lecturers sleep with you because of marks, why will you allow your boss in the office, or your uncle or neighbor or friend take advantage of you? Why will you sleep with a man because of money or for whatever reason!

Song of Solomon 8:8-10 says “we have a little sister, and she hath no breast: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for? If she be a wall, we will build upon her palace of silver: as if she be a door; we will enclose her with boards of cedar”

In NLT version “we have a little sister too young, for breast. What will we do if someone assess her to marry her? If she is Chaste, we will strengthen and encourage her, but if she is promiscuous we will shut her off from men”

From the two translations, you will see that to be chaste is likened to a wall and to be promiscuous is likened to a door! …. A wall is a protection and is always standing, but a door opens and closes from time to time, so the question is “are you a wall or a door?”

Each time you go into sexual immorality, God is disappointed, in fact not just God; you also become a disappointment to yourself, your parent, your future spouse, your spouse parents, heaven, and your generation.

Hmnnn, Did I hear you say “I’ve not had sex before, I’m a virgin, but I masturbate!” You fiddle with your private parts, or you do it with other girls (lesbianism) and you think nothing is wrong? Know that all forms of sexual immoralities are sin against God, whether in actions or in your thoughts.

Romans 1:26-28: (26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient)

written by Paul Ojomu.

Click  Facebook page HERE  and click like to get more tips on Relationship, marriage and more Daily Devotionals


Single and Virtuous – a must read for ladies

What Is Really Wrong With Sex Before Marriage?

What Is Really Wrong With Sex Before Marriage?

It is becoming clearer day-by-day that the world we live in is morally sick. Moral values seem to be lost among the youths in this generation because of so much misconception about sex and relationships.
It is even more saddening that the issue is as bad in the secular world as it is in the church. Our culture has complicated the situation such that the topic is not open for practical discussion especially with parents and spiritual leaders. This has resulted in the growth of a generation with the wrong orientation on issues about sex and relationships.sexbeforemarriage

The question every single should ask is this: Who would be in the best position to know how to operate a machine effectively? Is it the user of the machine or the manufacturer? Obviously, it is the manufacturer because he will have a broader view about the functionalities of the machine than the user who will definitely have limited knowledge.

Do you know that it is not romantic films or novels that brought about relationships in the first place? It was GOD who looked at Adam in the very beginning and decided that it is not okay for him be alone. God saw the need for Adam to have a ‘babe’ in his life and then decided to form Eve out of him. Adam did not even see the need himself. You will thus agree with me that it is improper to allow romantic movies and novels teach us about relationships. The people who wrote those things are ignorant people themselves on the issues of relationships. They are not the manufacturer; they are fellow users who have corrupted the real purpose the Manufacturer had in mind when HE established relationships in the first place. Hence, the most authentic manual for any relationship between members of the opposite sex is the Manufacturer’s manual i.e. the Bible.

The reason many people misbehave in relationships by having sex is because they think the only thing wrong with sex before marriage is just because God says it is a sin. The truth is that God said it is a sin because it is practically wrong to indulge in sex before marriage.

Many ladies have come to see sex before marriage as normal because they do not place real value on themselves. Know this as a lady, no guy will treat or value you above the value you place on yourself. The value Mr. Bigg’s  eatery places on common Scotch egg is such that as little as it costs, no matter who you are, you must pay before you taste it. This is so because the Company has decided to place value on it. So, how come a whole human being (lady) whom God has fearfully and wonderfully made in His own image can be tasted (kissing/smooching) before proper payment (marriage) is made? Is it not sad to know that the value many ladies place on themselves is less than the value eateries place on the smallest of the snacks they sell to the public? We all know that anything that is unused has a much greater value than one that has been used even if it was used only once. This same principle applies to your sexuality. This is why a man will naturally have more respect for a virgin wife on the wedding day than one who has been deflowered before then. Practically speaking, it is not possible for a guy to sleep with a lady before marriage and still respect her. Sex before marriage reduces the value of a lady before the guy – although most guys would prefer that ladies not know this truth.

Moreover, have you ever given this a thought: if sex is a way of expressing love to ladies, why do fathers and brothers always feel irritated or disgusted whenever they suspect that their daughters and sisters are sleeping with a guy they are in a relationship with? The truth is that they know that what they feel for their daughters/sisters is real love; the thought of sex in relation to these ladies would be irritating and disgusting. But when it comes to their girlfriends, sex is then redefined to mean a way of expressing love. This is done only for selfish reasons on the part of the guys.

One day, while speaking with a man, he was seriously complaining about how his girlfriend has made things difficult for him by not allowing him to sleep with her. This is despite all the love he has been showing to her by showering her with assorted gifts. After his lamentation, I asked him a question: how would you feel if your daughter (he had a daughter who was 16 years old at the time) walks up to you and asks what she should do if a friend of hers who is a boy is asking for sex from her. Immediately after my question, you needed to see the way the man’s countenance changed. You could almost see the disgust written all over him. Honestly, my perception of what happened that day is that if he had a gun with him that day, he would probably have gunned me down and I would not be here today.

The question now is this: why was the conversation involving sex with his girlfriend an interesting topic but the moment the scenario changed to that of his own daughter the topic of sex became a disgusting one? The truth is that the man knows that what he feels for his so called girlfriend is lust but what he feels for his daughter is true undiluted love. The major difference between them is that while the former is always looking for what to take without giving anything tangible, the latter is all about unconditional giving. No wonder he will naturally not want any man to touch her until she is legally married. Meanwhile, he will tell his own girlfriend that sex is a major way of expressing love to one’s partner, whether married or not. What a false statement. So as a man, you really need to begin to show true love to your partner/fiancé i.e. the very type of love you will want anybody to show to your own younger sister (if you had one) or to your own daughter (when you eventually have one).

Another illustration I like to give is as follows. Let us imagine that a guy comes to a lady some weeks to their wedding, telling her of a particular tradition in his home town that expects the wife to eat a small quantity of faeces some days to the wedding. What do you think the lady will say about such a disgusting tradition? Would she say that because she loves him very dearly she is willing to eat faeces? I do not think so. This is because she has a very personal conviction that eating faeces is completely wrong. The reason why many young people do the wrong things today, particularly engaging in sex before marriage is because of the lack of this inner and personal conviction that sex before marriage is completely wrong. Many believe, even though they say it is wrong, that it is a necessary evil. This is not necessarily so.

As a guy, you need to realize that sex is not what you should be thinking of perpetually if you really love the lady. Otherwise, you will naturally feel irritated once you are done with the lady. Something deep inside you will tell you that there is nothing to look forward to again in the relationship. The deepest form of rapport you can have with the opposite sex is to indulge in sex with him/her. This is why the excitement about what should naturally happen only during the honeymoon period in a marriage relationship has seriously died down in our world today. How many young people really look forward to their honeymoon night these days? Very few, is the sincere answer to that question because most singles today have eaten and almost finished the ‘honey’ in their ‘moon’ long before the wedding day. No wonder many marriages today looks like ordinary ceremonies since there is sincerely nothing new that begins as a result of the formal solemnization of the relationship between the new husband and wife.

As a guy, ask yourself this question: would you like people to treat your daughter or sister the same way you are treating the lady you refer to as your girlfriend today? Using sex as a way of expressing love to her, knowing fully that you are not officially married to her? If you are honest with yourself you can be sure the answer is not likely to be positive for many people today.

Now back to ladies, I do not think there is any lady that will not get offended if you refer to her (even if it is mistakenly) as a whore. If you sleep with a guy before marrying him, under the guise that he is your fiancé / boyfriend, even though it may sound rather harsh but the hard truth is that there is not much difference between a whore and the one who cheapens herself by indulging in sex before marriage. One thing is common to the whore and the ‘decent lady’ sleeping with her boyfriend: both have very low sense of value and self-worth. Please do not misunderstand the point here. Nobody is saying you should be unnecessarily pompous or proud; neither is anyone saying that relationship with guys is bad since it was God who brought the idea of relationship with the opposite sex in the first place. But if you have to be in a relationship, please let it be a respectable one where you will be valued and respected as a lady. The least you can do for yourself in order to become a more responsible lady in this generation is to create value for yourself. Nobody can do this for you.

As a guy, please be reminded again that you are supposed to increase the value of any lady you are in relationship with and not to reduce it by having sex with her. At this point, I know some people begin to wonder if it is possible to live a life without having sex as a single person. The correct answer is that it is very much possible but you must have some guiding principles that will help on this seemingly tough decision of yours.

First, one of the factors responsible for making singles think sex before marriage is normal is their mindset. Your mindset should be such that, the same disgust you have just thinking about eating feces should be the same disgust you have towards having sex before marriage. It is written very clearly in the scriptures that “as a man thinks in his heart so is he”.1So if you really want to live a life with the right mindset on sex, you need to practically renew your thoughts on sex before marriage. This is because if your mindset is not right, it will only be a question of time before your actions will obey what is exactly in your mind.

If you are going to change your mind set on sex before marriage, you need to take the second point very seriously. If the society must live in the reality of putting sex where it really belongs, there is a strong need to radically change the kind of mindset we presently have towards sex. Otherwise, things will only go from bad to worse in the years ahead.

Unfortunately, we are beginning to see some bad signals. About a year ago, there was a video that went viral on internet: a four year old boy having sex with an eleven year old girl. It was a very disgusting and disturbing footage because they were both too young for the kind of perversion they were involved in. To worsen the situation, from their mannerism, it did not look like they were beginners in the act. It actually looked like they had been actively engaged in sex for a long time. This is really a very sad story. There is therefore an urgent need to realign our minds as singles. Else, the level of perversion and moral decadence as highlighted above will be minute compared to what will happen in the future generation.

.(Check other stories and inspirational  articles on this blog: Who is Right for Me? THE MARRIAGE SHOE (Single & Searching Series)Single & Pregnant, Sex and Feelings, 4 things you MUST know before getting married  e.t.c go to the home page or scroll down to see some other articles) Remember to drop your comment.….continue reading

Secondly, do you know that the mindset you have is primarily dependent on the kind of stuff you take into your system? So ask yourself: what kind of books do I read? What kind of music do I listen to? What kind of films do I watch? Sincere and honest answers to these questions will let you to know why you have the kind of mindset that you presently have. If, for example, as a single you spend time reading romantic novels, watching romantic films and also listening to suggestive music about sex where kissing and smooching are suggested ways of expressing love either as a single or married, then you can be sure that you are not likely to have the right mindset. You would have filled up your entire system with junks that will not help you to have the best attitude on the matter. As a result, anytime you are with the opposite sex, the things you have filled your system with will suddenly jump out and you will want to obey what your mind is telling you. This is the reason many youths and singles indulge in kissing, smooching, sex and all types of perversions today. This explains why the guy would desire that his hands go to the wrong places on a lady’s body the moment he is alone with her. Those are the things he has filled up his system with. Also, for a lady who has done the same, when she finds herself alone with a man who tries to fondle her body, rather than call the guy to order, she finds herself telling the guy to stop the act but at the same time, she moves her body closer to the guy. Another thing is that all those materials will give you a false impression that sex before marriage is normal, with no negative consequences. Romantic novels like Mills & Boons would have us believe their constant lies – “and they lived happily thereafter”.

Hence, it becomes essential for you to begin an audit of these things: the books you read, the type music you listen to and the kind of movies you watch. Never stop asking yourself this question – all these things I have exposed myself to, how have they helped or how are they helping my life?

Thirdly, after ensuring that you have eliminated reading the wrong books, listening to the wrong music and watching the wrong movies, the next step is to find a replacement for those things you have discarded. We live in a world where it is now relatively easier to live the real Christian life -for those that really want to live the life. This is unlike many years ago when it seemed practically impossible to live the Christian life because of the severe drought materials. Now, there are so many types of Christian music one can listen to that really have nice rhythm and beats, along with words that edify. So we cannot truthfully say that the reason we do not listen to edifying music is because they are not available. The same applies to the number of Christian movies we have around us today. These have the capacity to really help many Christians who are movie lovers not to derail. The films are quite interesting and yet they pass across concrete messages to the audience. This is unlike when you watch all those other romantic or unedifying films. You will discover that the unedifying films will not add anything of significance to your life. In fact, it will make you worse than you were before you watched the film. We must ensure we take time to read the word of God and meditate on it daily. When we now begin to read edifying books, listen to edifying music and also take time to watch edifying Christian films, very soon we will have the right mindset as a Christian single. Our lives will no longer be filled with junks but with things that make us better Christian singles on a daily basis. Another thing that creates wrong mindset is the kind of things we see all around us.

Today, quite a number of television adverts seem to prefer the use of scantily dressed or practically naked ladies to do such adverts. The question that readily comes to mind therefore is: why is this situation like this? That is to let us know that almost everything we do now suggests that sex is a very important aspect of our lives, either as singles or as married. Please do not be misguided on this issue. When we come to the subject of the married people, sex is one of the most important aspects of marriage. It physically increases the bond between husband and wife within the context of a proper marriage. In the case of the singles, sex brings a lot of disrespect, unfaithfulness and lack of trust into such relationships. When a couple who are not married engage in sexual activities, they are not likely to trust themselves when they eventually get married. Particularly when either of them needs to travel, lack of trust easily sets in. That can start the process that may ultimately lead to the collapse of such relationships in the future.

Fourthly, the issue of dressing is another important issue to be addressed. There is a very common saying that it is the way you dress that you will be addressed. The uniqueness of a lady is in the design of her body. It was specially formed in such a way that it should be properly packaged; otherwise it will be seriously abused. Unfortunately, many ladies do not seem to understand why they need to cover up properly. This is because private parts are supposed to remain what they actually are – private. This means that it should be for your (i.e. the owner of the body herself) eyes only and not for public consumption.

Excessively tight dresses should also be avoided. Guys are naturally attracted to what they see in the opposite sex, so if a particular dress is excessively tight it will not be much different from when the lady is completely naked since her dress will completely outline her figure. The best you can achieve with such dresses is to make guys lust after your body, not the person beneath. As such they will be willing to do anything to be in relationship with you, all in a bid to eventually touch you and sleep with you. After that, they will look down on you and probably runaway thereafter. With this kind of dressing, you may never get true love.

This is article is a chapter from the book “5 Important Questions for Singles” by Olanrewaju Kehinde.

You can contact him to get a copy of the book :  Email: firstlanre@yahoo.co.uk

Click  Facebook page HERE  and click like to get more tips on Relationship, marriage and more Daily Devotionals


Single and Virtuous – a must read for ladies

How to Attract the Right Guy!…(For Single Ladies)

How to Attract the Right Guy!…(For Single Ladies)

“How do I attract the right man into my life?”…  Exclusively for mature single ladies that want to hook up with the right man!…

I have in the course of counseling single Ladies discovered that many of them have a dream husband in their hearts but don’t really know how to get them or attract them into their lives. Lots of girls are curious to know how to attract the right guy into their lives, so they won’t have to be wasting time with guys that are not serious whose only mission is sex,  The dilemma is that the right type of man they really want to marry seems not to notice them. Wrong guys keep hitting at them!

“How do I attract the right man into my life”… if this is your heart cry then….. Let’s ride on in this journey of discovery! as we look into this common dilemma affecting many ladies that have reached marriageable age.

Here are 10 steps (not exclusive) to follow if you want to attract the right guy to your life .

  • The law of attraction: To attract the right guy you must first of all be a right girl yourself, you can’t be a wrong partner praying for a right partner, to marry the right person while you are a wrong partner will be unfair to the right person. My own definition of the law of attraction is simply “you attract persons of like mind”. The scent of a flower determines the type of insect that will be attracted to it.
  • Be the Right Person: what qualities do you want in your dream husband? From my interview of some ladies, their top priority is that the man must be God fearing, so the first thing for you is to ask your self are you God fearing yourself? Have you surrendered your life to Christ? Are you born again? You must first establish a right relationship with God before you can have a right relationship with a child of God you intend to get married to. It is much better to find wholeness and completeness in God.  That way, you are focused on your own contributions, rather on what you need.  It is often true that when you are complete in God all by yourself, you become more attractive and appealing to a broad range of personalities, including the type that you want!Then list out all the qualities you want in a man (remember outward appearance does not define a man, it is the virtues, non tangible things that really defines us) then begin to add those qualities to your life. Ask God to work on you through the help of the Holy Spirit so you can have the fruits of the Spirits according to Galatians 5, this will make you stand out.

.(Check other stories and inspirational  articles on this blog: Who is Right for Me? THE MARRIAGE SHOE (Single & Searching Series)Single & Pregnant, Sex and Feelings, 4 things you MUST know before getting married  e.t.c go to the home page or scroll down to see some other articles) Remember to drop your comment.….continue reading

  • Talk to God: prayer is key in getting the right relationship, pour your heart to God and let Him lead you aright, wait on Him and trust Him for the best, delay is not denial, God is working out the best for you, so take time to always talk to Him about every aspect of your life. Break every satanic yoke that may be afflicting your life.
  • Be yourself: As a Christian, your true self is that person you see when you look at Jesus Christ!  He is your mirror.  Never allow the world push you around and tell you who you’re supposed to be. Putting on a false social mask just to please everyone else, is unnecessary if you’re looking for a lasting relationship. Be who God has said you are!
  • Tell yourself the right things: To attract the right man for marriage, tell yourself the right things. What do you believe about yourself?  What are you telling yourself? You may be programming yourself for failure with negative thoughts. For example, if you’ve told yourself that “all good men are taken,” then you’ve labeled the people coming to you as ‘left-overs’ even before they make their appearance! Your pre-determined beliefs, which you may not even be conscious of, can be destructive.  Seven percent of communication is what you say, and the other 93 percent is non-verbal. That 93 percent screams your “personal truth,” what you really believe about yourself when nobody is looking. If you’re carrying baggage — insecurities, fear, desperation — people can tell.
    So change the things you tell yourself about yourself, so that you can begin to attract the right man for marriage.
  • Don’t be desperate: Desperation is a repulsive quality – it puts people off.  Don’t act desperateTo attract the right man for marriage, don’t put pressure on yourself.
    Stop telling yourself you have to get a ring on your finger.
    Send a message that you “want to” be in a relationship — not that you’ve “got to.”
    Even if you hear your biological clock, it need not tick loudly enough for every eligible man to hear it! Don’t allow your age mount pressure on you. You are never too late to get married. Keep in mind that if you are desperate to get married, you could be giving out signals that are actually scaring away the opposite sex. Seven percent of communication is verbal and the other 93 percent is nonverbal. What kind of nonverbal signals are you sending out regarding commitment?
    When you feel the pressure of time, you can make mistakes, overlook important details, or misjudge someone.
  • Avoid unrealistic expectations: Most ladies are unable to attract the right man for marriage because their expectations are unrealistic. This is often as a result of lack of understanding of what exactly it is that they want.  In order to attract the right man for marriage, avoid unrealistic, conflicting, paradoxical, and utopian expectations.
  • Package yourself appropriatelyMind your signalsOnly 7 percent of communication is verbal. Be conscious of the signals you are sending out.  Don’t send the wrong signals.
    How you package yourself affects the kind of people that you attract.  For instance, there is a way you dress and you begin to send the signal, ‘I’m cheap…I’m available.  Consequently, you begin to attract irresponsible and promiscuous personalities, in spite of yourself. If you dress to ‘show off’ you will discover that most men that comes to you will be interested in sex mainly because they are attracted to your sexy look! Promiscuous men are firstly attracted to ladies who appears ‘sexy’
    So be very careful about the kind of signals that are emanating from you. Remember the law of attraction; you attract people of like minds!
    The issue of how you package yourself is therefore of paramount importance if you must attract the right man for marriage.
    If you package yourself appropriately, you’ll begin to attract the kind of men that are compatible with what you want.
  • Move into the right ‘habitat’, be in the right place: To attract the right man for marriage you must think about it this way: if you want to get a shark, where do you go to?
    If you want to get a tiger, where do you go to?
    So you must realize that where you are matters as far as who you attract is concerned.  It is easier to attract a shark in an ocean, than a tiger! And you don’t look for a whale in a swimming pool!
    Lots of ladies don’t attract the right man for marriage because they are in the ‘wrong’ habitat.
    To attract the right man for marriage, be in the right environment.
    If you’re looking for a man who loves the Lord, go to places that such people flourish.
    And if you’re not looking for a drunk, don’t go to a bar or night club to meet someone!
    You must position yourself strategically if you want to attract the right man for marriage.
  • Cultivate a pleasant personality: To attract the right man for marriage, make out time to meet people – be more available. Cultivate a pleasant, warm personality, be cheerful and cautious.

This message was written By
Paul Ojomu.

Click  Facebook page HERE  and click like to get more tips on Relationship, marriage and more Daily Devotionals





My peeps and I were having girl talk awhile ago and someone shared about a person she knew who was madly, head over heels, going bananas in love with this guy, but he wasn’t making a move…..ooh ohh. So what should girl friend do? Did I hear you say go after the guy? Ask him out? Well, that’s what she did! She made the first move. Told the guy she was feeling him and all that and they got it going on. He would come to her room, spend time with her, she would cook for him and shower him with care and attention. Then, dude calls her one day and asks for a break up and a week after that, he’s seeing another girl. Should I tell you what was learnt from the snoop? Boy didn’t really like the girl, sure he found her attractive but he wasn’t really into her and that’s why he didn’t make a move but when “missy” couldn’t hold out any more, she ‘toasted’ him, [proposed to him] he was flattered and since he wasn’t hooked at that time, what could it hurt? So, he agreed, to buy time till he found the one he was looking for, and when he did, he bounced [gilted her]. That’s not all, the snoop also revealed from a reliable source that he said and I paraphrase, ‘I really do not appreciate a woman coming after me, if I want her, I want to do the chase’. This guy “fall my hand o”. Callous isn’t he?

Now, before we get all judgmental, I really wouldn’t blame the dude. I’m not saying he was right but I wouldn’t put it all on him, Missy should have listened to mama. Oh yeah. When mama said, go to school, read your books and become responsible and made, then boys would follow, mama knew what she was about. I’m not anti relationship in school, nah, that’s not what I mean; I’m up about the fact that it is a man’s GOD ordained position and calling to DO THE CHASE! You heard ladies! So, you think it’s cool to ask a guy out?

.(Check other stories and inspirational  articles on this blog: Who is Right for Me? THE MARRIAGE SHOE (Single & Searching Series)Single & Pregnant, Sex and Feelings, 4 things you MUST know before getting married  e.t.c go to the home page or scroll down to see some other articles) Remember to drop your comment.….continue reading

A man knows and wants what he wants! It is in a man’s nature to conquer. It gives him a helluva of satisfaction to run after something and get it; it’s like winning a lottery. He’s proud of himself and he cherishes his ‘loot’ like crazy, that’s why they don’t give up easily. Now, here you come wanting to suck the joy and accomplishment out of that. Even if a guy likes you and intends to ask you out and you go ahead to make the first move, sweetheart, he might act thrilled, tripped and all, but he ain’t really cool with it, trust me. If a guy really wants you, he would come after you. That he hasn’t right now even when all the signs that he loves you are there tells you he’s thinking ‘the investment’ over; he wants to be sure you would be the right move and a worthwhile chase and if he doesn’t come after you, he’s just not that into you honey, period.

I wish a lot of ladies would save themselves heartbreaks and heartaches by letting some certain things take the natural course, even the bible says ‘He that finds a wife…..’ That tells you, he does the finding; you just position yourself such that you would be found. Do what you gotta do to be found. A perfect example of this is Ruth in the bible. Now, we all have different analogies of this story, but I pondered on it and I realized that Ruth did not woo/chase Boaz, I don’t think she did. I think she merely positioned herself to be found. Now check, Mr Boaz was already checking Ruth out and doing things to make her know he could take care of her, but he didn’t make a move because he wasn’t in the right position to and wasn’t sure how it would be taken. Ruth wasn’t even thinking about Boaz in that way but smart and matchmaking mother Naomi saw prospects and awoke Ruth from her slumber and taught her how to POSITION herself. Naomi did not teach Ruth to ask Boaz out. So, when Ruth handled her business, Boaz did the right thing and married her honorably.

Ladies, all we gotta do is know how to handle our business. If that guy you are ‘dying’ for is not noticing you, perhaps it’s because you don’t have what he is looking for. Work on yourself, get a life! Get busy; add value to yourself and the people around you. Be filled with genuine love and spread it. Show him all the good qualities you got without being unnecessarily suggestive. Let this not be said at the end of it all, ‘I didn’t really want this, you forced the relationship’, yeah, I’ve heard that before. Let it be glaring, without reasonable doubt that he sought you out and asked for you, make him work for it baby, you’re too loaded to come across as cheap. Protect your respect and self esteem; save yourself from humiliation and heartbreak, like my friend’s friend should have done. Don’t give his friends something to laugh about. I’m not saying play hard to get, that’s not good, all I’m saying is, let him do the asking. If he wants you, he’ll come after you, shy or not. For real. If a guy is too shy to chase the woman of his dreams, then you probably should think twice about that guy sweetie, put that radar on big time, he’s probably like that with some other vital things. It’s ok to like a guy and position yourself to let him know you are available, but pleaseeeee, do not ask him out. Call me old fashioned or whatever, I’ve heard and seen enough to know that ‘the gospel according to ladies asking guys out’ just don’t pay! Ladies, just get busy doing your thing; sit pretty and let him work for it, let him DO THE CHASE!

P.s – This is just my honest opinion and isn’t necessarily ‘the standard’ it is subject to any counter argument. So, please, let me learn from you.

By: Mo’ Omoregee Idowu

Click  Facebook page HERE  and click like to get more tips on Relationship, marriage and more Daily Devotionals


Single and Virtuous – a must read for ladies

Know Your Worth Guys!… you too can be used

Know Your Worth Guys!… you too can be used

Why do we always think that only girls can be used and dumped sexually? Is it because we assume this is men’s world? And everything that happens is to please the man? So when a guy and a girl have pre-marital sex (fornication), the guys goes about bragging that he has used the girl especially after break up!

A lady was sharing with me recently and was saying he felt used and dumped, and that she lost more than the guy!, then I told her that, the guy was equally used by her, in fact, the guy lost so many things, he lost his relationship with God and so on!

So guys listen! When you sleep with a woman, you are also being used! You are open to cross infections; in fact, you are the bigger loser! So what are you bragging about? That girl has equally used you for all you care!

Why do you think some ladies seduced guys to sleep with them? Some of this girls also sees some of you guys as objects to satisfy their own sexual pleasure and pervasion,  it’s just that women by their nature don’t brag about their sexual encounters like guys do, but believe me, some of them discuss you guys in their rooms or hostels same way you guys do! And some guys are been used by “sugar moms” who treat them as sex boys, some guys in the process has been used for ritual purposes, some guys have slept with demon possessed and dangerous girls to the ruin of their destinies!

The wisest king that ever lived captures it all when he wrote, in the concluding part of his story “With her enticing speech she caused him to yield, with her flattering lips she seduced him. Immediately he went after her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, Or as a fool to the correction of the stocks, till an arrow struck his liver. As a bird hastens to the snare, He did not know it would cost his life. Now therefore, listen to me, my children; Pay attention to the words of my mouth: Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, Do not stray into her paths; For she has cast down many wounded, And all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death”. Proverb 7: 6-27 (kjv + nlt).

Did u read that? “She has cast many wounded”! (Who then is using who?), “she has cast many wounded” and her captives were strong men! Her house is the way to hell descending to the chambers of death! Bros, be wise, the devil is using those girls to kill your destiny! Be wise!

.(Check other stories and inspirational  articles on this blog: Who is Right for Me? THE MARRIAGE SHOE (Single & Searching Series)Single & Pregnant, Sex and Feelings, 4 things you MUST know before getting married  e.t.c go to the home page or scroll down to see some other articles) Remember to drop your comment.….continue reading

My brother, God has placed great value over your life, why will you allow one girl to destroy that value! Why will you destroy your life as a result of momentary enjoyment? I know some guys who ruined their future as a result of sexual promiscuity, they were busy running after girls instead of facing their life’s goals and career, instead of serving God, they were busy serving their libido, today they are regretting how they wasted their lives, they thought they were using those girls and dumping them not knowing that they were equally being used and their lives getting wasted! You may argue that you can’t get pregnant, but have you forgotten that you are going to be held responsible?

Stop running after girls for immoralities, the bible says  “he that commits fornication lacks understanding, he that does it, destroys his own soul” and equally warns “flee fornication, every sin that a man commits is without the body but he that commit fornication sin against his own body, what! Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which ye have of God and ye are not of your own. For you are bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God’s”- 1 Cor. 6: 16-20

Know your worth guy! Don’t misuse your life. You’ve got responsibilities as a man. Understand your roles in marriage!

Your Responsibilities As a Man in Marriage
In marriage, a man is saddled with so many responsibilities that he can’t afford to be unprepared in his single’s life. Knowing your responsibilities and roles will enable you to wake up and begin to prepare ahead. Remember marriage is for men and not for boys.
The man as a leader: The man’s role in the bible starts with leadership! The man must be able t be a leader at home, providing leadership to his wife and children. 1 Timothy chapter 3 talks about whosoever want to be a deacon in the church must first of all be able to rule his own house well, otherwise, how will he lead the church. So you have a responsibility to lead your home. If you can’t lead yourself now, how will you provide leadership for your home? Don’t forget leadership is influence.  You must influence your children positively, train them in the way of the Lord.

The man as a husband: Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church”. Love is not just saying verbally ” I love you” As a husband, you must be ready to sacrifice so many things for your wife, just as Christ demonstrated His love for us by sacrificing His life. Love is Sacrifice! Are you preparing now for that? 1 Peter 3: 7 says “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” .If you understand these scriptures, you will have a different view about women! You’ve got a role to perform as a husband!

The man as a provider: “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” 1 Timothy 5:8. As the man you are expected to provide financially for your home, it doesn’t matter how wealthy your wife may be, you still have to contribute to your family upkeep. So what are you doing now to prepare for those responsibilities! Don’t misunderstand me; you don’t have to be very rich before you get married. But you have to be able to provide the basic things, food, clothing and accommodation! Be focused and determined to succeed in life… a woman will rather marry a guy that is poor today but have a great vision for his life and is working towards it than a guy who has no future ambition but is boasting with the cash he has now!

The man as a protector: “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” Colossians 3:19. Rather than being harsh with your wife, you need to protect and care for them. If you don’t know how to treat ladies right now, how will you treat your wife rightly? As a single guy, you should never abuse girls (and anybody) let alone your wife when you are married.

The man as a father:  Not only do you have responsibilities to your wife when you are married. You equally have great responsibilities to your children, you must provide for them, and lead them rightly! No wonder the bible says “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” Ephesians 6: 4

The man as a role model and mentor:  The younger generation is looking up to you to serve as a role model for them; they are looking up to you for mentorship! What do you have to offer this generation? Can young people look up to you? Remember you cannot be a mentor to that young girl you are always trying to romance at the slightest opportunity, or trying to take advantage of sexually.

On a final note!

To be the real man you ought to be, you have to know the best Man that ever lived, His name is Jesus. He came to the world to show unto us what it mean to be the REAL MAN!, The bible says that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son (Jesus), that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

Today you can become THE REAL MAN and a NEW MAN, by accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior.

Written  By Paul Ojomu.

Click  Facebook page HERE  and click like to get more tips on Relationship, marriage and more Daily Devotionals


Know Your Worth Girl!

Reasons Why You Are Your Own Problem in A Relationship

Reasons Why You Are Your Own Problem in A Relationship

There are several reasons why you are your own problem in a relationship, check out these 15 reasons:

  1. You are selfish and self-centered. Nothing hurts more than when what you expect for yourself didn’t happen. You want to be treated fine, you want to be cared for, you want this or that, just you, you and you alone, but hardly care about what the other wants or needs. Is he or she not a human like you? Change for good!!!
  2. You want your relationship to work your way alone and so, you get angry when he or she says ‘no’, let’s try it this way. You don’t know it all my dear and so, try to listen to the other.
  3. During communication, you dominate and hardly listen to the other as if they have nothing to say; learn to listen often because even a child has something to say. Even in silent a lot is spoken.
  4. You are too possessive.
    Listen: you can’t possess a human being or have him or her all for yourself. You can only do that to a robot, and humans aren’t robot.
  5. You are always dissatisfied, always finding faults and complaining rather than appreciating him or her more.
    My dear, no one loves a sadistic or peppery individual. You have an emotional problem and so, work on yourself first before looking for someone to be in a relationship with.
  6. You didn’t forgive and forget your past and so, you carry a wounded heart into a new relationship. You keep punishing him or her as if he or she was the cause of your problem. My dear, call yourself to order and deal with your problems.
  7. You talk too much and easily share sensitive relationship information or secrets with friends which they will later use against you. Learn how to be reserved. In the midst of friends, listen more and say less. Maturity entails secrecy and remember that no two relationships work the same way. Yours may be different from theirs.
  8. You easily get angry. There is a thin line between anger and pride. If you get angry often, check yourself: you have inner sensitive pride you use anger to cover up.
  9. You wear lies like clothe. My dear, one lie can ruin your entire honesty in a relationship. Lie is a sign of disrespect and so, avoid it as much as possible.
  10. You have already concluded there is no love. I ask: how can you be in a relationship with someone with no picture of love, care and tenderness? When you hate love, you can easily hate him or her, mark me.
  11. You lack discipline and good dress sense. You dress so provocatively such that you become someone for all. You don’t even respect someone you claim to love. You are deceiving yourself and you will get hurt soon if you don’t stop.
  12. You are never satisfied with one partner. My dear, don’t lure someone into a relationship when you aren’t disciplined enough to be satisfied with one person. I am not saying sex before marriage is ALLOWED. Say NO to premarital sex.
  13. You are lazy and clingy. You make excess monetary demands you yourself can’t even afford on a normal day without depending on a guy or girl. Get a work, make your own money and see how it is to make money.
  14. You have a very low mentality of people and relationship. You sound so timid and uncivilized such that someone wonders the planet earth you came from; kindly change your mentality.
  15. You have neglected God totally. You operate like no one created you or that there is no spiritual realm somewhere, that’s why you get easily manipulated or attacked because you are spiritually weak or insensitive.


Written By:
Louisa Ene Winnie

Click  Facebook page HERE  and click like to get more tips on Relationship, marriage and more Daily Devotionals


Is He/She Good For Me? (Single & Searching )